As you may have noticed from my entry titles, I am still obsessed with Nas.
Yesterday was an interesting experience for me. Yesterday was an extremely chaotic day at our facility and I am honestly very grateful that I did not have to go to grad school last night or I likely would have crashed the car from exhaustion on the way there. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that literally every 6 to 8 minutes ALL DAY yesterday there was a call over the radio for staff assistance in one classroom or another.
The kids had one hell of a day.
Last night I stayed after to make sure I was getting all my grading done. I had a question about one students handwriting so I hesitantly walked back to the unit to ask him. I didn’t hear any major conflict so I proceeded through the locked doors.
I walked in to find the 2nd shift staff leading a discussion about how they can behave better in school. In 1 day, one of the male units of 16 students had racked up 35 consequence forms. That is… pretty major.
Anyway, I walked in and asked my question. Just as I turned to leave, the nurse said “Hey, Miss Marie, you should be here for this, we are brainstorming on why we misbehave in school so much, you should speak.”
I was very flattered and at first I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know where my speech came from, but looking back on it, I don’t know how I did it.
“Raise your hand if you have never been to the principal’s office.” I challenged them. Not a single one of them raised his hand. “Notice how I, too, did not raise my hand.” Some of them looked puzzled. Perhaps they see me as someone far away from their reality and so old that I can’t remember my own childhood. “I went to the principal’s office, too. While I was in there I realized that that wasn’t the place I needed to be if I wanted to get ahead.” You could have heard a pin drop. “All the staff is here to help you. I work here because I want to help you. That is my job. All I am asking you to do is accept my help. Come to class and do your work. You know the difference between right and wrong…”
A lot of their attitudes changed today as they came into class as loudly as they normally do. But this time when their eyes met my firm glance, “I’m sorry, Miss,” some said. Not all was perfectly fixed, nor was I naive enough to assume it would be, but there was certainly a change in some of the young men.
Ironically, one of the young men from the other male unit had to be arrested today. During his meeting, the group of employees in charge of his case told the young man that he would be staying at our facility longer because he needs more time to progress to the point where it would be safe to discharge him. At this point, the young man destroyed a chair, broke the magnetic locking door, and punched a window, breaking it. Because he had been making threats that he would do this, and this was not his first time destroying our property, the administration decided to have him arrested.
I really hope that this is a turning point for this young man, but deep in my heart I feel he may not turn around. This scares me. I see the good person in him. I see the academic curiosity, I see the inquisitive nature. It may often hide, but it is there. All that’s left to do is hope that he decides to make better choices from now on and know that each day all anyone can do, myself included, is try as hard as possible. Do not give up. Ever.
