25 Things.

1) I live in Bradenton, FL with my boyfriend, my dog, and two cats. In other words, I have 4 pets.

2) I have been dating my boyfriend Adam for 2.5 years. This is longer than I’ve ever dated anyone and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

3) My real boyfriend is a 4 year old Jack Russell mix named Oreo. He could be the most ridiculous, excited dog ever.

4) I have 7 cousins: Samantha, 28; Dave, 26; Barton, 24; Katie, 17; Lindsay, 16; Lauren, 14; and Joey, 13. I have not seen Samantha in 10 years and I have not seen Barton in almost 20 years.

5) Until this past weekend, 2 of my younger cousins did not know that Samantha and Barton are their siblings.

6) I have an irrational fear of dropping important possessions like my ring or my cell phone down drains.

7) After teaching “at risk” children for the last year, I don’t believe I will ever desire to work with “regular” kids again.

8) I really wish Jamiroquai would hurry up and come to the US already.

9) I still have an Ohio license plate even though I’ve lived in Florida since March 20, 2007.

10) I was a total asshole in college and I hope that some of the people I went to school with will still be my friend.

11) I absolutely detest Christmas for a wide variety of reasons with a passion that burns deeply within my soul.

12) I have a Cartman watch engraved with my name. I’ve had it for 7 years and I rarely take it off. I’m on my 3rd watchband. If I were a South Park character, I think I would be a cross between Kyle, Wendy, and Tweek.

13) I just auditioned to sing the national anthem at McKechnie Field for a Pittsburgh Pirates spring training game. I should find out soon if I made it.

14) My dream is to open my own school in Akron and I have the whole concept and building layout completely mapped out in my head already.

15) I really wish my mother would have more self esteem. She really has no idea what a bad ass she is.

16) I am extremely particular about how I arrange items; especially in my closet, in my shopping cart, and in my freezer. If things are not arranged the way I prefer, I feel extremely tense.

17) My best friend is a (somehow single?) witty blond 5th grade teacher of 100% dutch heritage who has 5 dogs.

18) I am a recovering alcoholic. My sobriety date is September 27, 2008.

19) I have loved the Cleveland Cavaliers since January 1988 when I went to my first game at the Richfield Colosseum. My favorite Cavs are Mark Price, Zydrunas Illgauskas, and, of course, LeBron James.

20) I like Snyder of Berlin’s Hard Sourdough Pretzels so much, I am currently pondering having them delivered on auto-ship in bulk from Amazon.com.

21) I absolutely love classical music and rap. My favorite rapper is Nas because he a skilled poet who writes personal and meaningful lyrics in addition to having good diction and catchy, distinctive delivery. I really want to meet him. My favorite composer is Ludwig van Beethoven because he was fucking crazy and then he went deaf and kept writing this ridiculous powerful syncopated music. It is a shame I cannot meet him in this life.

22) The Boston/Rhode Island accent is the most hilariously endearing thing I’ve ever heard…possibly because it’s SO fun to imitate.

23) I am perhaps unhealthily obsessed with the color green and I have been for almost 10 years.

24) I have a pretty severe case of ADHD that was misdiagnosed until I was 24. It has taken me over 3 hours to compile this list because I can’t sit still long enough to type it.

25) The happiest moments of 2009 for me so far have been opening the locket my sister Helen sent me in the mail and reading number 25 on Helen’s list because for some reason I just now realized that she loves me too.

Star Wars

“It looks like the straight talk express lost a wheel on that one…”

- Barack Obama during his debate with John McCain on Tuesday, October 7, 2008

 

Oh, politics… how they make simultaneously confuse, frustrate, and yet give false hope.  The debate was pretty funny.  It never ceases to amaze me how the candidates manage to completely elude the question, hence defeating the entire purpose of the “town hall” setting of the meeting.

I would like to think that Barack Obama will win the election, however, even if he does, I often feel our country is so far in trouble, it’s going to take years to regain ourselves.  Our education and healthcare systems are deplorable and yet all of our money is going over to fight a war that is a huge mistake.

I feel very fortunate to have the job I have.  I love what I am doing and while I am in mass amounts of debt, I make enough to scrape by.

Honestly, the only real problem with my life is that I feel so disconnected.  I feel like I am an alien from a far off galaxy visiting earth.  It’s so damn trite I know but I feel so lonely and misunderstood.  I don’t have many friends and I feel like most people see me as really weird and/or annoying.  The problem is I don’t think that I am and I don’t want to change for anybody but this causes me to be alienated and makes me miserable.

I guess what gets me through each day is the love of my job and knowing that I’m helping kids make progress…but still I am lonely.  I may not be alone, but I feel more lonely than I’ve ever felt.  As a child I didn’t understand how someone could feel lonely in a room of people.  Now that I am 25, I often feel lonely in a crowded mall or driving down the road in traffic.  I lack real human interaction.  Something meaningful.  Something more than “Hi.”  I need love in the worst way but in our society looking for love is only something “losers” do.

I wish more than anything that I had someone to spend my life with.  Someone who would want to discuss/playfully debate/argue music and movies with me.  Someone who would dance with me and not care if he or she is a shitty dancer.  Someone who loves animals as much as I do.  Someone who has a weird distinctive personality.  Someone who has passion about his or her career.  Someone who likes the outdoors and/or swimming.  Someone who doesn’t have a desire to do drugs or alcohol regardless of his or her past.  Someone who finds me interesting and sexy.  This person would be my ideal.  Perhaps I set my standards too high, because it seems that this person does not exist.

Until the day comes when this person lands in my life, should that day ever come, I suppose I will continue to live through the times when Gene Kelly or Rita Hayworth have a romantic moment on my TV screen.

Got Yourself A Job

Thoughts from today…

1) I am still obsessed with Nas.  I love Nas.  He’s just about all I can listen to.

2) I really like my job.  My first day was interesting and… pleasurably overwhelming.

3) What do you do when you really love so much about someone and you know that that person would be there in an emergency but you just don’t feel you are getting appreciated the way you should?

4) I love animals!  Oreo is the strangest little dog.  He really does look like a baby deer, a cat, and a dog all at the same time.  I know that sounds hideous, but he’s really cute, I swear.

5) The medical system in this country is so beyond messed up I could not even begin to describe it in this entire blog let alone one sentence.

6) Trying your best is just necessary.  All the time.

So… If you were making classroom rules for at-risk students, which would you choose?