“It looks like the straight talk express lost a wheel on that one…”
- Barack Obama during his debate with John McCain on Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Oh, politics… how they make simultaneously confuse, frustrate, and yet give false hope. The debate was pretty funny. It never ceases to amaze me how the candidates manage to completely elude the question, hence defeating the entire purpose of the “town hall” setting of the meeting.
I would like to think that Barack Obama will win the election, however, even if he does, I often feel our country is so far in trouble, it’s going to take years to regain ourselves. Our education and healthcare systems are deplorable and yet all of our money is going over to fight a war that is a huge mistake.
I feel very fortunate to have the job I have. I love what I am doing and while I am in mass amounts of debt, I make enough to scrape by.
Honestly, the only real problem with my life is that I feel so disconnected. I feel like I am an alien from a far off galaxy visiting earth. It’s so damn trite I know but I feel so lonely and misunderstood. I don’t have many friends and I feel like most people see me as really weird and/or annoying. The problem is I don’t think that I am and I don’t want to change for anybody but this causes me to be alienated and makes me miserable.
I guess what gets me through each day is the love of my job and knowing that I’m helping kids make progress…but still I am lonely. I may not be alone, but I feel more lonely than I’ve ever felt. As a child I didn’t understand how someone could feel lonely in a room of people. Now that I am 25, I often feel lonely in a crowded mall or driving down the road in traffic. I lack real human interaction. Something meaningful. Something more than “Hi.” I need love in the worst way but in our society looking for love is only something “losers” do.
I wish more than anything that I had someone to spend my life with. Someone who would want to discuss/playfully debate/argue music and movies with me. Someone who would dance with me and not care if he or she is a shitty dancer. Someone who loves animals as much as I do. Someone who has a weird distinctive personality. Someone who has passion about his or her career. Someone who likes the outdoors and/or swimming. Someone who doesn’t have a desire to do drugs or alcohol regardless of his or her past. Someone who finds me interesting and sexy. This person would be my ideal. Perhaps I set my standards too high, because it seems that this person does not exist.
Until the day comes when this person lands in my life, should that day ever come, I suppose I will continue to live through the times when Gene Kelly or Rita Hayworth have a romantic moment on my TV screen.
